“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.” — The Duchess (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)
Hmmm, yes. What is it about human nature that keeps our noses continuously stuck in other people’s affairs?
In my short and humble opinion, there are 4 possible reasons that instantly spring to mind (and they all involve a Venus Fly-Trap).
- The Smoky Mirror (a definite trap!)
- Avoidance (another trap that doesn’t involve Venus but a sticky void and a particularly intriguing dance.)
- Self-Importance/Ego (just like an irritating fly that won’t go away — where’s a trap when you need one?)
- Drama Addiction (the fully grown Venus Fly-Trap, or, perhaps more of a ‘shut your trap!’)
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall — Who’s the Smokiest of Us All?
Let’s take no.1 — that smoky mirror analogy. People that volunteer themselves to get entwined in the business of their fellow man, usually have some characteristic of what they are judging about others lurking about in their own foggy behavior.
Sometimes we hide these attributes so well, that we can’t seem to see those attributes in ourselves. This takes a lot of introspection to weed out.
Next time you find yourself judging someone else’s behavior, try to see if there is any essence of ‘you’ in the opinion.
The ‘smoky mirror’ (smoky = hard to see through, mirror = others reflected in us) is not going to be the case every time you identify or see a particular unnerving trait in another but the projection of our own inadequacies sure does tend to happen a lot, so be aware and look out for it — best to nip this mannerism in the bud before the bud turns into a fairly peckish Venus Fly-Trap and makes a meal out of you.
Dancing in the Void (A-Void-Dance)
No. 2 is similar to no. 1. Avoidance is just not being able to take responsibility for your own short-comings, so you deflect the attention to make yourself look and feel better. In other words, you know you’re a gossip but you make sure you let the world know what an even bigger tittle-tattle Peggy-Sue is.
Now you’ve safely fudged over your own issues. However, before success settles in just remember that you’ve got to face your shadow head-on or that Venus Fly-Trap is gonna get ya!
Shoo Fly — Don’t Bother Me!!!
“…nothing kills the ego more than hilarity and humility…”
Good ‘ol no. 3 is that juicy little sh*t-stirrer — the ego. The ego thrives off drama and misery and putting itself ahead of the pack. Sticking your nose into someone else’s business is ego-fodder.
You can make yourself better than, slimmer/tottier (I’m sure I just made that word up!) than, prettier/handsomer than, cleverer than, more successful than so-and-so just because it gives your ego those 15 minutes of superiority— even if you don’t say it out loud.
The silent ego is just as dangerous as the overly loquacious e-goo (terribly gooey and all that jazz).
Just like the sticky residue in the Venus Fly-Trap — your icky e-goo can get you into some sticky situations if you are not aware it’s rearing that self-important head (down boy!).
When the ego has you by the short and curlies, you tend to compare yourself and you’re usually the one that comes out on top. However, don’t be fooled! The ego is cunning and manipulative and can make you feel less than too. Both are a trap and both are easily avoided with the light of your illuminating awareness.
Have a good laugh at your ego if you find yourself in its throes — nothing kills the ego more than hilarity and humility. Show the ego who’s boss — they key is to control the ego and not to let it control you.
The Amateur Dramatics Society — Putting on a Show Near You!
“Remember that taking offence is a choice.”
No. 4 is like the smorgasbord of the lot — you can find a little bit of each trait in no. 4 — the drama addict!
Have you noticed how some people cannot live without drama?
There you are trying to get off the wheel of karma and leave your drama at the door while others are trying to hook you back into the cycle.
There are some people who will purposefully go out and purchase a ravenous Venus Fly-Trap, stick their finger in the jaws of the plant and howl when it clamps down and draws blood. If you are one of these eager consumers, I wish you luck on your journey and can’t quite understand the pay off.
However, if you are someone who wants to keep a potting shed full of petunias rather than a carnivorous plant, take my advice and set your boundaries.
If someone is trying to lure you into drama, don’t try to run away from them (fence-sitting is just not an option anymore — you know it will always come back at you until you face it), don’t confront them with the ego (as in start an argument — you will then have stepped right into the trap and fed the drama) — simply speak your truth or stand firm in your conviction (whatever that may be) and walk away if appropriate.
Empowerment is always about standing your ground and not letting people overstep your boundaries and doing that in a way that does not provoke aggression or submissiveness.
You’ve got to aim straight down the center and tell it like it is — speak your truth and straight from the heart. If you offend someone, that is their choice and they will have to deal with it. Remember that taking offence is a choice.
The Long and Short of Your Schnozzle
As you probably figured out by now, this article has got very little to do with Venus Fly-Traps — disappointing, I’m sure. So, what’s the moral of this tale? Live and let live.
You can powder your nose, you can blow your nose, heck, you can even pick your nose if that’s your thing — but whatever you do, keep your nose out of other people’s business. If they want your hooter present they’ll ask for it.