Imagine you are 4 years old and you are outside playing in the yard. You see a bunch of weeds which look like flowers to you (because, through the eyes of innocence, all is love and all is beautiful). The beauty of these “flowers” reminds you of the most beautiful being in your life: Your mother. So, you decide to go pick these “flowers” for her and although you may not be aware of it, it is a sign of love from your heart to hers. You joyfully pick as many as your tiny hand can hold; the whole time thinking about how happy she will be when she sees the wonderful gift you have brought her. You imagine her smile and maybe even how she will bend down, swoop you up in her arms, squeeze you tight and kiss your tender little cheek. Your excitement overcomes you because you are SURE your mother will be so pleased and that she will feel so special. You run into the kitchen, tracking dirt all over her freshly mopped floor, not realizing that you grabbed some roots in the picking process and dirt is falling off of them as well. You call to your mother, “MOMMY!! Look what I picked for you all by myself.” She turns to look only to see the trail of dirt you left throughout the house and she immediately yells at you and tells you to take those nasty weeds outside. She continues to holler at you for the mess you made after she worked so hard to clean up the house and mop that floor. She ends her rant with, “And you can’t even shut the door behind you and now the dog got in!”
You hang your tiny head; tears streaking over your dirty little cheeks…“flowers” hanging to your side…dragging the floor and you feel like such a failure. You feel that you did something so wrong that your mother can’t even love you anymore. What you chose to bring joy to someone you love so deeply has backfired on you and now you feel that your love has been rejected and that it’s not “OK” to express love in the way you choose or in the way your heart guides you. Subconsciously, you begin to seek out the “right” way to express love because now you are afraid of sharing it in your own way. You begin to observe others; you observe their actions as well as the reactions of others when a gift, good deed or something similar is presented to them.
Because of this hurtful experience (or one similar) of rejection, you begin to lose your voice/your expression. You no longer feel it is safe or right to express yourself in the way your heart desires to. This will bring you to a point where you begin to observe partners, friends, family, a boss, etc. in order to see what is safe and what is not when sharing your love with them. So rather than freely expressing your own heart and sharing your own unique way of giving love, you conform to what is “expected”. You become a people a pleaser and you betray your own soul; your own truth. You can no longer see your own unique ability to give love and you become a puppet, giving your power over to the fear of rejection. You have been taught (through various experiences) that expressing your true feelings and what makes you a unique expression of Source is not acceptable.
The fear of rejection is a spiritual cancer but as with all of your fears, it is just another way that your inner child is trying to protect you from further pain. Your fear tells you to stay away from expressing anything that may bring about a feeling of rejection. It tells you: “be good and you will be accepted”, “say the ‘right’ thing and you will be accepted”, “act this way and they will like you”…the list goes on and on.
This fear is one of the most debilitating fears a Lightworker/Ascension Worker can face because it causes us to hide who we truly are for fear that we will not be accepted while standing in our truth. The fear of being rejected tells us that we are not good enough just as we are; something must be changed about us in order to be accepted. It also tells us that we don’t have the right to be a unique expression because that’s not what people want. We become puppets to the fear; conforming to what others want rather than being who we are. This fear will cripple you and it causes so many of us to betray our own truth and to hide our expression so deeply that we forget who we are because we are too busy trying to be everyone else in order to make them happy; in order to be accepted by them. This will bring about bitterness, resentment and a feeling of loneliness or being misunderstood. It also makes us feel that we are unlovable.
When you are vibrating at the frequency of rejection, you will only bring about more of the same. Your relationships will fail. Your jobs will fail. Your ideas will fail. Your efforts will fail. Why? Because deep within you, you have not accepted yourself just as you are and you feel you don’t deserve anything good in your life. You always feel you have to change this or that in order to be good enough. That is such a vicious and destructive behavior!
All is not lost, however, because when you become aware of the rejected aspects of you, you CAN transform it into complete acceptance. Become the conscious observer and bring light to areas where you have not accepted yourself. Allow yourself to see these painful places and go within to nurture your inner child. Hug that child and tell that child, “I love you no matter what you do or how you feel. I love you because you are YOU and you ARE lovable just like you are.” This will take practice, patience and perseverance, but one step at a time, you can come to love and accept yourself in every way. When you can do this, you will then know that being your own unique expression IS safe for you! You begin to see that you can express yourself no matter where you are and no matter who is watching and in any way that you feel inspired to do so. Don’t be surprised if you get out of your car to go in the store and all of a sudden just have a desire to dance in the rain and you DO! Accepting the parts of you that you have rejected will bring about a freedom you have never experienced.
I challenge you to find one thing you have rejected about yourself and learn to love that one part of you. If you are not ready to accept it, allow yourself to feel what it would feel like for you if you did accept it. This will set you on the path to embracing that part of you and when you experience the freedom in accepting that one thing, it will make you hungry enough to seek out the parts of you that you have rejected. Forgive those who have rejected you (even as a child) and realize that you created that experience to evolve your own soul. Let go of blame and be responsible for all that you are and all that you have experienced. This is the path to self-empowerment! Take your power back and BE your own unique expression of Source/Love!