How to Welcome In Your Spirit Mate
by Ashley Asti
We is sacred.
We is a union, a marriage bond.
A deep and holy thing.
We belong with our mates to feed each other spiritually. To help each other evolve.
We are the creators in our lives.
But, to create another–to create and bring to us our partner, our spirit mate–we must first create ourselves.
Indeed, I attract what I am, you attract what you are. So how do we tap into our own rhythm and become the mirrors of ourselves? How do we reflect what we seek?
The answer is to go within, to unite with your higher Self and know her with full awareness for the first time. To call her back to you and invite her in.
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I am a celebrant, I decided the other day. I want to unite people in the most sacred of unions. Not in a lawful contract of marriage, but in a state of relating to each other that is so deep and so rich and so primal and so freeing. I want to grace this ceremony with the energy of the divine, with the purest and most unconditional love. It is a bond made sacred by the Holy being. And it is infinitely beautiful.
But the first bond we must ever create is with ourselves.
I once asked a friend and most beautiful guide when my spirit mate was going to come into my life. I’ve had the blessing of sharing my journey with some of the most gorgeous men–whether they’ve been my partners or not. Each of them has guided me back to myself and shown me all the magnificent parts of me that I had forgotten. But I felt ready, then, to pull all these gifts together, to take the lessons I’ve learned from each partner and manifest them in one man, the man who’d keep me rooted; earthed; grounded, and also help me soar.
Since I seemed so certain of myself–so certain that, this, indeed was my need and my calling–my friend suggested I just ask. Talk to your angels, she said. Tell them when you’d like this man to appear.
It seemed so simple. So, “Yesterday,” I said, and giggled. “I was ready for him yesterday.” I didn’t want to wait.
Indeed, I expressed my urgency to her. “Isn’t it time? I will just soar when I’m with him,” I insisted. “I am ready to soar.”
And, so, responding to me kindly and gently, she looked up at me and smiled. “You don’t mean that,” she said. Your angels are telling me you don’t mean it. You’re not really open to receive.”
Ordinarily, my reaction would have been much more furious. “Who are they to say I don’t mean it?! A hot, gorgeous man is exactly what will fix this situation right up. I am so ready.”
But I just stopped a minute and smiled back. “Dammit,” I thought. “I have more inner work to do.”
Indeed, more inner work it was. After stopping and stepping back for a moment, I realized I didn’t love myself fully enough to receive a man. I didn’t respect myself intensely enough and with the worth and ardency I deserved to welcome a man in. And not just any man–those were available. I wanted the man who spoke to me, listened to me, was whole in himself. The man with whom I could open my being and let the gloriousness surge to the surface. The man with whom I could be myself–my true and highest Self.
So my message to you, those waiting and wanting their spirit mate or those looking for peace in their relationships right now, is to surrender. Surrender into your greatest being. Fall out of love with the image of your ideal mate and rise to the love of its being, its spirit. Indeed, discover your own spirit.
We do not unite in fragments. Parts don’t come together to form a whole. Two wholes come together to exist with abundant and overflowing love, to circle with each other in this divine and cosmic dance.
If your spirit mate is not here, stop demanding. End the pattern of expecting, of probing for answers, of seeking. Seek and you shall not find. Just be–as you are and in the present moment; be your full Self–and your spirit mate will merge into your life with such love and joy and effortlessness. You cannot be half and look for something else, for someone else, to complete you. Come as a whole ready to meet and join with another whole and complete being. We are full in ourselves. The overflowing of our own self-love is where the relationship with another begins.
And be ready to receive. Rumi has said, “Open your hands if you want to be held.” It is that simple; we just need to surrender to it. And to really mean it. Opening our hands means opening them without preconditions, without expectations, or intentions of attaching. Open your hand without asking for anything–without asking to be saved or filled or taken care of. Ask only that you love yourself and, when you do, your own love will appear, reflected in another human being.
And, lastly, enter the cycle of creation with your spirit mate. Bring children into the world and, together, set the example. Teach them how to be men and women who are so full within themselves. Who have tapped into their own rhythms and have only infinite love to share. Pure love. And if it is not children that are your calling, that is perfectly fine, as well. Our wombs are just as valid when they’re spiritual, invisible entities. We all can create and give birth to the vision inside of ourselves. So create something else with your spirit mate. Infuse your creation with love of the highest kind. Lay your hands on it and nurture it. Your gifts deserve to come to fruition.
Most certainly, there is nothing wrong with being single. With being young and being single or being older and being single after a long relationship. We are meant to be in each of these stages of our lives and, please, embrace them. Embrace wherever you are. Let each stage be full of joy, whether you’re in tune with and connected to your spirit mate or not at the present moment. Each experience is a lesson and allow each of these lessons to ripen and blossom fully in you so that you receive their fullest teachings.
And, always, give yourself love. That’s the only way to spread it. You’ve got to have it to give it; you’ve got to have it to receive.
To spread more of this love, please watch the video below. It is magnificent, spoken with such clarity and truth. Spoken and given with such authentic love and light: