Most people know how to talk to others just fine, but it seems that few know how to truly communicate. Many arguments and bitter feelings don’t start due to difference in opinion, but due to lack of communication between parties. In this time of awakening it is more important than ever to make sure we communicate efficiently with others. This article looks at the basics of effective communication in the new age and what you can do to make sure your communications really connect.
The first and most important thing you can do to communicate is listen. This seems like a basic part of communication, but for many it isn’t. Most people don’t have a conversation to listen and exchange ideas, instead they have a conversation to stress their point and have the other person validate it for them. Quite often people engaged in conversation are not even really hearing the other person’s side, they are too busy thinking of what they will say next.
“With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing.” ~Catherine de Hueck Doherty
If you want to truly communicate, it is essential to really hear what the other person is saying, and to be present in the moment instead of worrying about what to say next. Even if the other person is saying something you do not agree with or something that is a different opinion than yours, it is important to truly listen and answer in a calm, civilized manner. Responding negatively and abrasively only serves to cause anger and an even bigger lack of communication.
“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
― George Bernard Shaw
This is especially important in conversations about higher consciousness, awakening, ideas, and paths different than your own. Every awakening is valid and true, just as every spiritual path is valid in some way, including the ones which are different than your own. When sharing spiritual experiences and wisdom, do not assume you are the only one who knows anything or that the other person who is having a different sort of experience must be unenlightened because they do not experience things like you or and others who believe what you believe experience. The only truth is, if there is any one truth, is that reality and the nature of existence are much bigger and more amazing than any one person or group of people can experience or sum up with a belief system.
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” ~Peter Drucker
You are human, you do not know every secret of the universe and reality as a whole. Do not try to tell others that you do, this does not show anyone that you are even the least bit enlightened or awakened, all it shows is how much you still have yet to learn. We are the creators of our own reality, our world is shaped based upon our beliefs, we experience what we believe to be real. It is made real in our personal world by our expectations. Don’t bash somebody else’s experience because it doesn’t fit your narrow view of reality. If we are truly awakened, we will have no interest in screaming to get our point across and tell everybody else they are wrong.
Another part of effective communication is body language and tone of voice. These two things often go unnoticed by the speaker but are definitely noticed by the person listening. By being present in the conversation and current moment, we can take constant note of these things to better control our responses to people. There is a saying that 99% of arguments don’t start because of difference in opinion, but because of tone of voice and body language. What seems small to you concerning yourself and these things speaks volumes to the other party. It is so easy to take on a negative tone or posture with someone, all the while thinking we are being reasonable because of our choice of words. Actions speak louder than words, the person you are communicating with is going to notice these things before you ever even say something negative to them. When you talk to someone, take constant note of how you are responding.
Besides following these rules for communication, it is also necessary to keep up with your relationships. Do not talk to people only when you want something or whenever you want to prove a point. If you are going to communicate effectively you need to show others that you truly care. Take time to compliment people you know, and even strangers, sometimes a small compliment can make somebody’s whole day. Sometimes it can save their life. Never pass up the opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.
Most of the things covered here are pretty basic, but it’s amazing how often people neglect to do them. Part of awakening is learning and opening up to others, after all we are changing from a world where the illusion of separateness persists to a world where we see that we are all connected as one. One of the signs of a truly awakened individual is the ability to truly listen and to communicate a point of view in a pleasant manner. If our spirituality is truly effective we will value the opinion of others and be open to their individual path of awakening in life. It is only those who still dwell in the fear based vibrations of this world who desire to tell everybody else that their way is the only way.