True Love in the Spiritual Dimension – is my Partner the right one for me? ~ by Helen Tellock
Many of us find ourselves asking, over and over again these days, “What am I doing in a relationship with someone SO different than myself?”, “How can this be RIGHT?” and “ How can I ever SHARE everything I am feeling during these times with him/her?” You may very well feel like there is an abyss between you and the one you love …a river so wide no bridge can be built that will allow you or them to cross it. These are trying times indeed! The feelings that surface and re-surface, causing us to question all we have believed in do not stop when it comes to questioning our love relationships as well. Deep feelings of aloneness, sadness, inner separation try to pull you down into a whirlpool of empty space. There is nothing to hold on to, no one who understands the changes that are happening in you, not even yourself most of the time! And then you begin to glimpse a light shining through, a small but very bright light that only you can see. You know that this “new thing” is being born, this new YOU! You may have tried to share this with your loved one, only to find yourself stumbling for the right words, or feeling totally misunderstood. It can be painful not to be able to share this wonder with the one person you feel the closest to.
Being born into a world of duality, it is natural that we sometimes feel like we are “alone”. The challenge now is for us to see that we are all connected to one another. Lisa Gawlas (Spiritual Teacher, Psychic / Spiritual Reader) has said recently in the “readings” she does for clients that many people these days are searching for their “Soul mates”. They ask about the people they are with, if she can see what the future looks like for them. She says that so many of them who are asking are on one side of this abyss, and the people they are with (in this 3rd dimensional place), are on “the other side”. That explains a great deal of what many of us are feeling as we are going through this process of being raised in vibration. It is quite likely that your present partner is developing at a different rate than yourself. Each and every person has the chance now to ascend. Everyone also has the choice to decide not to go on just yet, but to remain here and experience something they came for that has not yet been fulfilled. There is nothing good or bad, right or wrong about these decisions. They are what they are, and they are based on what we all decided upon before being born into this time in the first place.
There is really no right or wrong reason for being together with the one you are with. Sometimes the higher goals for us being together here in this life are not so apparent to us. If you try to question, or explain WHY you love someone, you will find the task is quite senseless. Real love does not have “reasons” or “explanations”. It goes beyond the reasoning capabilities of our brains. It is a HEART CONNECTION.
The following is a sad but true story. The names have been changed for privacies sake.
~ * ~
Carola and Martin were married for over 20 years. They had two wonderful children, a nice home, life was comfortable. Martin drove truck for a living; so many times he missed out on the daily parts of family life. But Carola would wash his clothes when he came home, and she’d know if he hadn’t been feeling well while on the road because his socks would be turned inside out (he wasn’t aware of this thing he did, but she was). She would make him little packs with veggies, and homemade jerky for the next trip. Then she would be all alone again with the girls until he made it around again. Once, for a while, Martin felt he’d been missing too much at home and took a job driving “local”. He wanted to spend more time with the kids before they were all grown and gone. Well, he did stuff different than Carola. He’d cook for the kids, but they didn’t quite understand why he made such “weird” combinations of foods. It was somewhat strange even with him being around so much. He reacted differently to stuff, especially when it came to “feelings”. He never was one to really show them. One day Carola asked Martin, „Do you love me?” He was stunned. He didn’t answer. She was shocked! She wanted an answer! How could he NOT ANSWER? He must NOT LOVE ME! Well, he didn’t know how. When forced into a corner, he could only say, “I don’t know if I love you. I don’t know if I ever did.” They got divorced. Not long afterwards Martin began to have real bad headaches. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor. They operated, but it was too advanced. He had a little time left to spend some quality time with the kids. When Carola came to the hospital, Martin, on his deathbed, said to her, “Now I know I love you, I always did”.
~ * ~
He learned his lesson. He FELT what LOVE really was, and then, he went. She was left alone. The emptiness she once thought was “caused” by him – she knows now is a part of her. A part based on deep feelings of ALONENESS, fear of ABANDONMENT, FEAR of not being LOVED. There never really was a problem of him not loving her, but a problem of true perspective of self. These types of feelings can block us from being able to see or receive the love that is all around us.
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
Your logical side may be trying to reconcile its losses of understanding by putting some focus on your physical side, causing you to question established relationships. Not only we are going through personal changes, but our relationships are also being affected in many new ways. Perhaps what has been a loving physical relationship is meant to evolve into a platonic partnership. Maybe just holding hands and walking together will become for some WAY more important than anything else. Perhaps a new Tantric depth will evolve out of a comfortable relationship that has been “asleep” for a long time.
To help find some direction as to where your relationship is headed, try asking yourself the following:
-What if this person were GONE right now FOREVER? What if he/she was taken out of your life? (Put the question to your HEART. Open it up and experience it, really let yourself FEEL the “answer”)
-What is this relationship for? Ask your Guides (or Angels, or God, or Source). Ask for a sign to show you what there is to see that you may not be aware of.
- If I could see anything useful, what would it be? Remain open and AWARE of any CHANGES that may be the answers to your questions.
We all need to learn to look at ALL the LOVE that is really there. Accept it for what it is. Give it the time it needs, nurture it truly from within ourselves. Learn to PROJECT LOVE as the TRUE SOURCE of FEELING that it is – and stop confusing it with the rest of our feelings of insecurity, guilt, and fears, that only keep it from us. Start to deal with ALL your feelings now. Look at them for what they are. Say to them for example, “You are the fear I have that comes from the belief that I am separate and alone. I recognize you for what you are.” It’s kind of like the „monster” under your bed (or in the closet) when you were little. When your mom or dad, or someone big came in and turned on the light – and showed you there was nothing there to be afraid of – low and behold – they did disappear! Sometimes it takes a while. Scary feelings, like monsters, are tricky! They can try to get us to believe in them…so learn to turn on your OWN LIGHT now…face your fears and look boldly into your CREATION! Go ahead and look under the bed, and into the closet.
“True love does not always give the receiver what it would like to receive. But it will always give that which is best for it. So welcome everything you receive, whether you like it or not. Ponder on anything you do not like, and see if you can understand why it was necessary. Acceptance will then be very much easier.”
What appears to be a problem can be a wonderful opportunity waiting to be discovered. Life often so brilliantly disguises our greatest gifts as our worst nightmare. - Henk Schram http://evolutionezine.com/standing-your-ground/
The new self-discoveries we are making open all sorts of possibilities for creating the life we truly wish to lead. We are all headed in our own direction, but we are all TOGETHER. There can be no me if there is no you, and visa-versa. This is a concept we are just beginning to work with. All the while we were made to believe that YOU are YOU, and I am I. That made it easier to believe we would “choose” one another and be joined, or to then again be separated. A new understanding must develop for us to see that YOU are really a MIRROR of ME. In everyone then, is something of ourselves we are meant to see. It may be something we really enjoy, in which case we will want to spend more time with that aspect. Or something we need to face, to help to show us a part of ourselves we need to let go of. In either case, there is really no separateness. There is only awareness. Become aware that the world we believed to have lived in was or is the whole while, a hologram of illusion. We truly are a Soul, a spark of the divine creator, having an experience in this wonderful realm of being. How grand the dimensions really are when we think of the greatness we have been allowed to feel! Blessed are those who are still “asleep” and living the dream. We are not only here for ourselves, but also for them (as we now know-there is no separation). We hold their hands, as the Angels hold ours…a chain of life…slowly awakening. It can only happen step by step. Just as the light of the Sun would blind our eyes and burn them from their sockets if we came too close, so is it with the true and whole being of the Creator energy . Step by step, the dimensions can be experienced when we have acquired the needed understanding. The doors to the great light are being opened one by one.
“Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you.” – Matthew 7:7
We are learning to let go of ourselves, our EGOS. We may extend this to thinking we need to let go of everything else around us, and YES, in a way we do, but not as we are used to doing it. The “letting go” NOW, is on the INSIDE, letting go of being attached to ATTACHMENT. Not necessarily letting go of the PERSON that incorporates that FEELING of LOVE in your heart.
You either Love – or you do Not
– it is never a Question
– it never Ends
– it always IS
To feel the difference between letting go of the OBJECT we project our love INTO or ONTO – and maintaining the connection with that same feeling of LOVE – this is the NEW DIMENSION. This is letting go of ego – and becoming your new self, the one where the FEELINGS are the REALITY. That is truly the meaning of love. It is nothing you can hold on to. If you give up the person you are “loving”, you just might be missing the chance for this next step, the chance for the next door to open up.
Chances are, there is still some real important sharing you still have or want to do together, otherwise you would not be asking, you wouldn’t be looking. You would just walk away – or they would go – for what seems like “no reason at all”, just like they came.
May the beauty of TRUE LOVE find you,
Peace & love, Helen
Lisa Gawlas – Unveiling the mystery of Love http://www.mysoulcenter.com/Lovesjourney.html
About Mirroring – What Are Our Mirror Reflections Trying to Teach Us? http://healing.about.com/od/selfpower/a/mirror-images.htm