We live in a day and age where our privacy is rapidly diminishing. With the advent of the information age and social networking, people that we don’t even know can learn much about us; often without our consent. Some people are much like an open book, while others, like me, tend to still prefer just a smidge of anonymity. Even outside the virtual environment, we may have people in our lives that tend to take a yard when you’ve allowed them an inch; often overstepping their boundaries and acting or speaking in some way that we might not find agreeable. With that being said, I want to talk about how you can speak your truth with love and the importance of setting healthy boundaries with others—whether it be online or off.
Why is this especially pertinent for a Lightworker or a person on a spiritual path?
The answer to that is quite simple; when we as Lightworkers open our hearts, minds and spirits up, we often leave ourselves vulnerable to others. Some may unconsciously trample on the freshly tilled gardens of our Souls. Others may not understand your path or your lifestyle and consciously act out toward you. Still, YOU may subject yourself to negativity at times and therefore being in the habit of cultivating healthy boundaries might help YOU help your Self. Lastly, many of us that are open to the Light are often times very sensitive and thus we must practice these principles for our own positive Self-preservation.
I was brought to contemplate this after an interaction I observed unfold on a comment feed on FaceBook. A personal friend of mine was a recipient of unwanted advances from a male that she had never met in person over a very PG picture she had posted of herself. This picture was not salacious by any stretch of the imagination. My friend tried very politely to explain to the gentleman that his advances made her uncomfortable; to no avail.
Of course, me being the hot-headed, out-spoken Sag that I am; I was not shy in vocalizing quite succinctly what my friend was feeling. Of course, I did so as tactfully yet as directly as possible. Sometimes the best way to say something is just to say it plain…
Yet many of us get lost in our desire to ‘please everyone’ that we often neglect Numero Uno—ourselves. I’ve often heard it said that if we treated others the same way that we treat ourselves, we’d be left with no friends. The fact is that if we value ourselves, we can easily and gently express our needs to others in a way that gets the point across.
If you need some assistance with setting healthy boundaries, I thought you’d find the following helpful:
1) Draw the line:
Let those around you know who you are and what you stand for. Do so in a tactful way; just because your way is right for you, doesn’t mean it is right for someone else. But let others know if they’ve crossed the line with you. This can be done delicately at first. If they don’t get the hint; be more firm. But always stand your ground.
2) Let go of toxic influences in your life:
When a person continuously oversteps their boundaries with you, it may be time to reevaluate this relationship. Often times this can be very difficult as the person who usually takes advantage of you the most is usually a close friend, family member or loved one.
3) Develop a supportive circle:
Get around people who will support you in your decisions. Usually these are people who understand and exercise mutual respect. Turn to them for support when you are struggling with a certain situation where someone may have stepped over the line with you.
It is important to note that the only person who has any control over you is YOU. If you allow others to have their way with you with no regard to your own wellbeing, you are relinquishing your control to another person. But you can just as easily take it back. It all starts with making a decision to stand up for yourself and be your own best personal advocate.
Charlotte “Char” D. Piper is a blogger, entrepreneur, creative spirit, wife and mother. Her passions include holistic health and wellness, as well as coaching and mentoring others on living a life of balance. She is the main contributor to LifeAndWorkInBalance.com, a blog she and her husband, Bill started to aid people in living lives of financial freedom through health and wellness. In her free time, Char can be found reading, dancing wildly, cooking, spending time with family and of course, writing.