We have often heard that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for the other person. Even though that is true, it is not always an easy thing to do. How do you forgive someone that has hurt you?
It is important for our personal and spiritual growth that we move beyond the pain and hurt that can sometimes hold us back or keep us stuck in the past. When we release the pain, anger, and disappointment we relinquish the hold that those feelings have on us. Then we can move forward.
Nothing can affect us, unless we allow it to. With that being said, it is sometimes difficult not to feel we are affected by angry words or someone hurting our feelings, whether it is intentional or unintentional. Our ego or mind self tells us that we should feel bad, that those are the appropriate feelings. If we begin to see things from more of a higher vibrational space, a spiritual place (our true, authentic higher self) instead of from that lower vibration of our ego mind, we will begin to see things from a much different perspective.
When someone judges you, or says harsh words to you or hurts you in some way…it actually has NOTHING to do with YOU! They are reacting that way due to the place THEY are at; these are usually feelings that they have about themselves that they project onto someone else. A lot of the time it is the person or persons they feel closest to or most comfortable with.“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending”. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Every experience we have is an opportunity for us to learn and grow. We do not have any control over the things that happen in our lives. What we do have control over is how we react to them.
It is when we have “expectations” and others do not live up to our “expectations”…that is when we experience disappointment. ..and that is at a “human” level. We have to move beyond that…to experience life from more of a spiritual place. When we do, we experience life with unconditional love and we no longer come from a place of expectations.
When I was doing some major spiritual work, I felt an enormous need to look back over my life, my relationships, people that I felt had “failed” me. Those that had hurt me, or taken me for granted…even if they didn’t realize they did. Here are the steps I took to acknowledge and release those issues that were still affecting me and holding me back in life.
“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive” ~Alan Paton
When you acknowledge and release all of this…you release it from a place of ego mind since that is where it took place. When you forgive and let it go, you do it from a place of love. You empty that place of hurt deep inside you and fill it up with unconditional love. Then the healing REALLY begins. You will feel lighter, more joyous, you may even begin to remember things that had been buried or covered up by your pain. Happier memories will begin emerging surrounding these people and situations in your life. And the most amazing thing to me…the current issues in your life that had been caused by not dealing with your past issues…they begin to fade.
“Forgiveness means letting go of the past” ~Gerald Jampolsky